Performance

Tonight I gave a bad performance, that's two in a row.
In Obsession, I felt like I was barely there, almost not inside of myself, working on autopilot.

Tonight in Debbie's show, I simply did not have a full grasp of the lines, I only messed up after attention was off me, but I still messed up.

I should not be too hard on myself.
When I learn lines I learn them so that the each line only comes to me as I finish the last one.

This is dangerous, several times I have come to the end of a line and there is nothing but a big yawning abyss where the next line should be.

In Obsession an abyss opened up even where lines did not exist.

When it works it means that I am never just on autopilot. It actively improves my acting and stage presence, it brings a reality I could not otherwise produce.
When it doesn't work, I simply shouldn't be on stage.

But it's over, it's done with.

Next up is Moaning Logs, Ruth's show.
I know it, whats more, though I say it myself, I am very good at it.

It's a show which gives me free range which is always my forte, as with Epsom Downs, The Glorious Mechanicals, and Company, in my bit the audience will be mine and mine alone and I will give them a show.

If given the opportunity I can do anything with an audience.
That is what I enjoy about Theatre so much. Making an audience feel whatever you want them to feel.
Making them feel like you feel.
Making them think.

Humans react differently in groups than they do alone. An audience is primal, directionless, formless.

Understand that and you can do anything.