To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

Grandma died this morning.

I don't really feel anything, it's something I've been prepared for for a few years at least. In the long term it makes things so much easier. Mum has spent at least the last three years constantly worrying. If it wasn't Grandma it was work and if it wasn't work it was Katie. The last year she's had to spend almost all of her spare time looking after Grandma. Maybe now she can learn to relax.

The inheritance is going to do a lot for all of us. It'll allow my parents to get out of debt, allow me to move out, let Chris finish uni.

Down to one Grandparent now.

I think I knew. Mum called me saying that Grandma had fallen and to look after dinner while she went up. She said the ambulance was on its way. That said something to my subconscious. then mum rang up and asked me to send Dad over when he got home. I knew then from the catch in her throat.

It sounds callous but I am glad. Six years now since Grandad died, all Mum has done really is try and keep grandma interested in life when she wasn't really. And looking after her has been a huge burden on all of us. And at times we did begrudge that burden.

Truly I think Grandma never really came back after Grandad died. Her body was there but her spirit didn't really want to be. I loved her.

Maybe I'll cry in a bit. If she were around she'd say it would be silly to cry over an old fool like her. And maybe it is.